Recovery
by The Atomic Cafe
Summary: Sirius' death had hit her hard, and she knew it was eating Remus up from within even worse. RL/NT friendship, hints of RL/SB slash.
1. Chapter 1

**Recovery**

By The Atomic Café

Disclaimer: Harry Potter fan fiction is based on the series by JK Rowling. All characters and situations other than my own are the property of the original author.

He had spent the better part of the past two weeks with his head bowed, quietly accepting the condolences of friends – his chosen family – as he went about his business as best he could. Tonks was surprised at the way certain people spoke to him; McGonagall treated him as a widow, first offering empty platitudes about lost loves, then pulling him into a surprising hug and whispering something in his ear. Kingsley treated him as a man who lost a close friend, offering him Firewhisky one night and shutting the door behind them as they spoke. Snape treated him to something approaching an equal for once, giving him a curt nod whenever he passed, never opening his mouth to insult Remus. Harry didn't speak to him, instead wallowing in his own grief. Molly took to comforting him as though he were her own child, ensuring that he ate and slept with some regularity despite the missions he continued to go on. Tonks had once walked in on the two of them as Molly sat close to Remus, holding him to her chest in a long, silent hug. He had been shaking, she remembered, as though crying. Tonks felt as though she had walked into something sacred, though she couldn't pull her eyes from the scene. It was the first time that she had ever really seen Remus accept any sort of physical comfort from another person, and seeing it brought a tear to her eye.

Sirius' death had hit her hard, and she knew it was eating Remus up from within even worse.

She had tried to find a way to offer her own condolences, but every way she tossed it around her head made her feel like a liar, as though she were only trying to comfort him for the sake of looking better. In all honesty, Tonks missed Sirius just as much as Remus did, and she wanted to comfort him to ease her own suffering as much as his. It was because she cared about the both of them so much that she wanted to spend time with him.

As she flipped through pages of a dusty book, barely absorbing the words, she heard the sound of footsteps in the library. Only one other person went down there with any regularity, so she didn't bother to glance up as Remus inspected a shelf opposite of her, finally pulling down a book and sitting heavily in one of the many stiff, black chairs.

"What are you reading?" she asked, surprised at how dead her voice sounded to her own ears.

"Vampires." It didn't comfort her to hear that his voice lacked just as much emotion as hers did. "My next mission is gathering information from them, and I'm afraid that I'm useless for much beyond reading about them today."

It took her only a moment to remember that it was the day of the full moon. She glanced up briefly, looking at Remus as he read. When Sirius had been there, he and Remus would spend the better part of the day before in isolation, speaking only to each other. Sirius had told her that it was because of how Remus acted so close to the full moon; the physical discomfort tended to get him grouchy, and he preferred to be alone at those times so that no one would have to see that aspect of his personality. It had been effective, she realized. She had never seen him raise his temper. She had not even seen him lose control since the battle.

"Are you staying here for it?" she asked quietly, looking down at her book again as she continued to flip pages.

"I would prefer not to because…" His breath caught in his throat, and she knew what he was going to say: _because Sirius isn't here for it_. He continued on as if he had not paused. "Dumbledore asked that I stay."

"I'm glad." He looked up sharply, and she added, "I'm glad you'll be here because we can look after you that way."

"I'm not a child to be taken care of."

"You let Sirius take care of you," Tonks whispered, trying to meet his eyes. He was staring down at his book with the same determination she had been. Her hands continued to absently turn the pages as she spoke. "I know that I'm not him, but –"

"You're very correct in that," Remus snapped, still focusing on the same page that he had opened the book to. "Will you _stop_ flipping the pages like that, Nymphadora?"

Tonks immediately stopped, and she felt her courage rise. "You know, one night when he brought you upstairs from the basement, I accidentally ran into him. He showed me everything that he did to help you, and then he made me promise that if anything happened, I would always help you if he couldn't."

"What a charming bonding experience." Remus turned the page of his own book and stared at a new page. She knew he wasn't reading. "It's a shame that Sirius made you promise something that he had no right allowing you to do."

"I'm still here," she whispered.

Remus glanced up, meeting her eyes for only a moment before he looked at the clock behind her. She immediately regretted her words, but she refused to look down. Even if she regretted what she said, she did not mean to take it back. As he silently returned to his reading, she continued to stare at him, her jaw jutted in defiance as she silently promised to protect him that night.

"Despite whatever your plans are, I do ward the basement during the full moon to prevent foolhardy women from trying to rescue me," he said, glancing up at her.

Tonks shook her head quickly, confused by how easily he read her thoughts. "Not my intention at all," she lied.

Remus gave her a small smile – more of the corner of his mouth curling upward slightly as his eyes remained dead. It was the closest thing to a smile she had seen from him since the battle. "I know you, Tonks," he said quietly, and she was surprised at the use of her chosen name. "You're just like Sirius, even if you don't realize it sometimes. You're both protective to a fault about the people you care about."

"It's not a fault!" Tonks cut in angrily.

"At times," Remus answered evenly. "I would just like to remind you that, despite however you feel about me for twenty-nine days a month, you should not care about me tonight."

Tonks felt her breath catch in her throat as she tried to force the words out. "I always care about you."

The near-invisible smile quickly faded, and Remus closed his book quickly. "You know better than most in this house than some of us need some private time to grieve. Consider this my time." He stood up and glanced at Tonks again as he approached the door to leave. "I'm asking this… as a friend, not as a disciplinarian or anything else. You've been the only person to respect my distance lately, and that makes me believe that you understand what I mean."

Tonks didn't know what to do other than nod before he left the library. She watched the doorway for a minute before glancing down at her book to see what she was even reading. _A History of Dark Magic: 1930-1949_. Great choice. She slammed the book closed, letting it balance on her armrest as she curled her knees up to her chest.

Remus' transformations had long been an interest of hers on various levels. As an Auror, she found the idea fascinating; so few people in her field were able to speak to a werewolf. As a friend, they worried her as much as they had worried Sirius. She had only seen him once during the day after a transformation as Sirius had always been there to quietly bring him to his room for rest. Out of respect for the both of them and their relationship, she had never intruded; when Molly sent her upstairs with food for them, she would always quietly knock at the door and meet Sirius outside of the room rather than entering. The knot in her stomach seized up as she realized that would never happen again.

Wiping away the hot tears that managed to escape from her eyes, she stood up, ignoring the book as it fell to the ground. She made her way upstairs, walking through the narrow halls until she reached the kitchen. The door to the basement was located in there, and she already knew what she planned to do.

Molly was in the kitchen, inspecting some dishes that were washing themselves over the sink. Tonks smiled to herself; it felt as though Molly lived in the kitchen, and it comforted her. It felt like the only room in Grimmauld Place that had any life or warmth in it.

"Tonks, darling," she said absently as Tonks took a seat at the table. Quickly doing a double-take, Molly fixed her with a stern look. "Your eyes are red. Have you been crying?"

"I'm fine," she answered quietly, touching a hand to her scalp. Tonks wanted to examine her hair to see if the color was fading out. She worried that the stress of Sirius' death would become apparent as she lost the energy to keep her hair pink. It took some struggle on the part of a Metamorphagus to keep an appearance that differed drastically from how she would naturally appear, such as changing her age or having an unnatural hair color.

Molly tapped a kettle, forcing the water to boil immediately. She poured two cups of tea before settled down beside Tonks, handing her a mug.

"Thanks, Molly," she muttered, taking a small sip of the scalding tea.

"Is it Sirius?" Molly asked quietly, placing a hand on Tonks' back. The touch comforted her while working to break down some of the defenses she tried to put up within herself. Fighting the tears back, she quickly shook her head. "Is it someone else?"

"It's Remus." She tried to wipe her eyes without Molly noticing, just to make sure that no moisture betrayed her. Clearing her throat, she tried to find her composure again.

Molly smiled. "Is this a matter of your fancying him or something else?"

"No." Tonks put down her mug, leaning forward so that she could fold her arms on the table and rest her head on them. She shifted to see Molly from where she lay. "I don't know anyone who was closer to Sirius than he was."

"I don't think anyone could name a person who was closer to him."

"If I'm feeling this way…" Tonks let out an angry sigh. "I can barely function without Sirius. I _miss_ him." The tears threatened to return, and she had to stop to wipe her eyes with her sleeve.

"You're worried that he isn't coping." Molly nodded and rubbed Tonks' back. "Remus has lost Sirius for twelve years already. His methods of coping are just very… different from ours."

"It's not that." As Tonks sat up again, giving a small laugh as she wiped her eyes. "Merlin, that sounds terrible. I _do_ care about him. It's just… I want…"

"You want someone to mourn with you."

Tonks glanced at Molly, thankful once more for her ability to read her so easily and put together the words the Tonks could never find. "Exactly. I need someone to talk with who knows what's happening, who sees it the way I do, but he keeps pulling away."

"He mourns differently from you and I," Molly repeated, continuing to rub Tonks' back as she slid down to rest her cheek on the table again. "I'm sure that his distance is less about you and more about his… condition."

"He's a werewolf, Molly, not a leper." Tonks glanced at Molly's face to see that her lips were pursed. On the rare occasion that someone brought up Remus being a werewolf, she reacted the same way. Tonks knew that she made a clear distinction between Remus and the wolf, something that Tonks wished more people would do, but her hatred of the wolf sometimes overshadowed her appreciation of the man. She would always avoid the kitchen close to the full moon because of its proximity to the basement, and though she offered assistance to Remus after his transformations, it was always from a distance or only after the first day of recovery passed.

"He's still not used to having people want to get this close to him," Molly continued. "That's what I think it is. And you shouldn't try reaching out to him this close to… Well, the way Sirius spoke, I assume he gets in a right mood around this time."

"He's human today." Tonks felt guilty for her words, feeling as though she was accusing Molly of being prejudiced against Remus when her true intention was to seek Molly's approval to speak to him again. She didn't know if she could work up the courage without someone's support behind her.

Molly's lips pursed again as a dark look passed her face. "He may be, but I assume there's a reason why only Sirius spoke to him the day before."

Tonks nodded, her cheek rubbing the table as she sighed. Maybe Molly was right. There was no point to bothering him, not at this time. Still, she needed to give it one more try. "His transformation isn't going to be good tonight, is it?"

"I don't think it ever is." Molly looked nervous at the mention of his transformation, but Tonks could sense the worry for Remus in her voice. "Poor thing is always ill."

"I want to be there for him."

Now Molly looked alarmed, her hand no longer rubbing Tonks' back. At seeing her look, Tonks quickly added, "Afterwards. You know how Sirius always took care of him afterwards. I don't want him to go through it alone, but I know he won't let me help him."

"He's been through it alone before."

Tonks sighed and nodded. "I know he has. And I know he can get through it by himself again, but…" She gave Molly a pleading look. "Is it going to be worse than usual? He just lost his best friend. I – I don't know what the wolf is like, but I'm sure it's going to tear him apart if it has to deal with all that grief."

"I'm sure it will, too," came another voice from the entry into the kitchen, and Tonks let out an involuntary gasp as she saw Remus enter. He gave her a tight smile. "Molly, you'll have to excuse my taking over the kitchen for a moment. Just wanted to make some tea."

"Of course." Molly glanced at Remus' back as he moved to the stove, then to Tonks. Tonks could tell that she wanted to say something, and she quickly got the hint.

"Remus." Tonks was surprised at how timid her own voice sounded.

"Yes?" He didn't turn to look at her.

"I'm - I'm sorry if you overheard anything."

This time, he did turn, finally giving her a smile that reached his eyes. "I truly do appreciate your concern. I'm just sorry that you feel the need to spend your night worrying about me. You're young. Go spend some time with your friends or partaking in a hobby; it'll undoubtedly raise your spirits a little."

"It wouldn't." She cleared her throat, willing her voice to get stronger. "I'd feel better waiting here for you."

"You'll be doing an awful lot of waiting." He poured the hot water into a mug, adding tea leaves before he pulled a small vial out of his pocket. "As Molly told you, I've been doing this for years. Many more years than you've been alive. I can handle it by myself."

"What is that?" Tonks asked, nodding towards the vial that he poured into the mug. Remus slipped it back into his pocket when he finished pouring.

"Calming drought," he answered evenly, taking a sip. "I will divulge enough to say that a few of your fears are grounded, and I don't think I'd be acting this well if it weren't for a little help. I didn't think Molly would enjoy her kitchen becoming the battlefield of a mad werewolf," he added dryly, giving Molly a small smile.

"You're always welcome in here, mad or not." She returned the smile before glancing back at Tonks. They sat in silence for a few minutes as Remus drank and the women exchanged looks.

"I'm going to wait for you," Tonks blurted out, trying to say the words before she could take them back. She didn't fear spending the night with only a door separating her and the werewolf. She feared his rejection.

"Pardon me?"

"I don't care what you say. I'm sitting right out here until morning, and if you're not out of there by yourself, I will come in there to help you." She fixed him with a long stare that he returned, his face calm.

"I'll be fine," he whispered after a pregnant pause.

"I'm coming in there in the morning."

He considered her for a while, sipping his tea slowly. The calming drought appeared to be having no effect on the already-calm man, and Tonks was becoming infuriated with the look he gave her.

"I'm usually awake by noon," he finally said, he voice low. "Give me until four to... patch myself up. If you don't hear from me by then, I give you permission to remove the silencing charms, but that's all."

"What the bloody hell will that do for me?"

"It'll let you hear whether something went wrong," he finally said, his voice low. "Now if you'll excuse me." He drained his tea and quickly washed it before replacing it back into the cupboard. Without another word, he slipped into the basement. Tonks heard the door lock, then the sound of a whispered voice reciting a silencing charm, then nothing.

She turned to Molly, not knowing what to do or say. It took her a while before he finally whispered, "I can't leave him in there when he wakes up. Not like that."

Molly looked scared. "If he has a reason to believe that something may go wrong, trust him about it. Don't do anything except lift the silencing charm, and then let him be. We don't need two people to get hurt."


	2. Chapter 2

**Recovery  
Chapter 2**

By The Atomic Café

Disclaimer: Harry Potter fan fiction is based on the series by JK Rowling. All characters and situations other than my own are the property of the original author.

When she awoke with a start, her legs haphazardly skewed around the chair as she had tried to get comfortable in her sleep, Tonks quickly tried to find the clock. It was just past ten in the morning, and she wondered how she had slept in so late. From where she sat, she could make out the sun through the window. The moon would be down already, and Remus would have transformed back by now.

To lift the silencing charms now or not... She bit her lip. Her intention had been to invite Remus in, to allow them to find solstice in each other. If she broke her word now, what would he say? But if she kept it, what kind of injury could he be doing to himself? How had the wolf reacted throughout the night?

Above everything else, she needed Remus to be well so that she had someone to lean on.

Standing slowly, she approached the door and considered it for a long moment. She was an Auror, dammit. The thought made her puff her chest out, feeling slightly ridiculous at the movement. She had been trained to deal with anything she approached, and this was just another thing. Tonks had plenty of training with werewolves.

When they weren't friends, she reminded herself guiltily. There were no classes about how to help a depressed werewolf who was also a close friend.

Trying to overcome her fears, she quietly lifted the silencing charm, pressing her ear to the door. No sound, or rather, no sound that could make it through a heavy, wooden door. She hesitated before breaking the locking spell, but when she tried the door, it wouldn't open. Of course Remus would put as many charms on it as possible, she realized. And of course he wouldn't tell her what any of them were.

She worked quietly, whispering charms to break down the protections he had put on the door. She had to search her mind for ideas, trying to decide what he would have found useful. It surprised her when she felt magic seep out of the door when she broken a charm to stop smells from passing between the rooms. Of course a werewolf would need to protect against the smell of humans, she reasoned as she tried the door again.

Within twenty minutes, she had the door open. The delay made her feel better about entering so early; at least she was closer to her promise, if nothing else. She quietly walked down the steps, illuminating her wand to see before her. The basement smelled musty, as did most of the house, and she felt panic settle in on her as she moved deeper within the room. At the bottom of the staircase, she realized that it was a relatively small room, maybe half the size of the kitchen, its darkness making it appear even smaller than that. It only took her a moment to find Remus using the light from her want, and the sight of him made the breath catch in her throat.

An unmoving body lay in the corner of the room, the skin torn so badly that she wouldn't have been able to recognize him in another setting. Thought she could only see his back, the noticed the deep welts that criss-crossed his skin, the bruises that filled in whatever space was empty on his pale skin. He shivered slightly, his chest heaving as he took breaths. Once she stepped closer, his arms moved to cover his eyes unconsciously.

"It's okay, Remus," she whispered, kneeling down beside him. She wanted to put a hand on him for comfort, but there didn't seem to be any free skin to touch without hurting him. She settled for running a hand through his hair, feeling the dried blood make the strands stick together and pull on her fingers. For the first time in a long time, unadulterated fear seized her.

This was what a full moon did after something bad happened, she realized, mentally cursing him. How could Remus expect her to have waited until four? There was no way he'd be able to make his own way out by noon. She stopped untangling his hair long enough to make a mental list of all the things she needed to grab from upstairs. Bandages, blood replenishing potion, a potion to help him with the pain, something to treat the welts...

"Sirius," he sighed, his arm moving just enough to touch her hand. He still hadn't opened his eyes, and she let out a small gasp as he held her wrist. "Stay."

"I've got you," Tonks whispered in return, moving her legs carefully to sit beside him. His heavy breathing was more apparent now, and she became worried. Had something happened to his lungs during the transformation? Would he be alright?

"I need you to move a little." She took his shoulders in her hands, trying to maneuver him to rest in her lap so she could take inventory of the damage that had been done. He let out a soft moan as she moved him, feeling guilty as his torn legs scraping across the bloody ground. Her shirt was already becoming red from his blood, and it made her want to vomit. Once he was in her lap, she took a deep breath, trying to calm her own stomach.

"Where's... Sirius?" he asked, face pressed into her chest as he continued panting.

"He's gone." The words made her breath catch again. She'd never get used to saying it. "He told me to help you this morning. I'm going to take good care of you, alright?"

When Remus tried to nod, a coughing fit overtook him. She tried to turn him so he would have room to breathe, but she noticed the new scarlet stain grow on her shirt. He was coughing up blood.

"Shit," she whispered, looking around desperately. Sirius had warned her that magic wouldn't work on any of these wounds, but he had never warned her that Remus would start doing this. She searched her mind for a solution, years of Auror training suddenly escaping her.

"Molly!" she finally called, turning her face up to meet the light that spilled it through the door. "Molly!"

Remus gave a quiet groan at the sound, his coughing growing weaker. She hoped that it was the end of the fit, and the way his muscles relaxed made her feel more comfortable.

"I'm so sorry." Tears spilled onto his face from hers. "I don't know what to do..." She turned and called up to Molly again, wishing that she could scream louder or Molly could hear better or anything else that would bring her down faster.

"Potion," Remus whispered, his voice hoarse and his eyes still closed. He gave another weak cough. "Pain."

She nodded and gently moved him to the ground. Once his back made contact with the cement, he gave another soft groan, but she didn't know how to help him. Feeling guilty, she ran up the stairs, throwing open the door to the potion cabinet in the corner of the room. Her hands shook too much to hold any bottles, but she finally managed to find the ones she wanted along with some gauze from the nearest cupboard before darting back down the stairs. The fear overcame her again, growing with each step.

"For the pain." She uncapped the bottle and started pressing it into his hands before realizing he wouldn't be able to take it alone. Once she had him sitting slightly, she pressed it to his mouth.

"You have to work with me." Tonks rubbed his shoulder. "Drink it so I can help you. I've never done this before. You need to help me."

Slowly, he managed to drink the potion, stopping to have another coughing fit halfway through. Once he had taken the dose, the heaving of his chest slowed down. She watched him carefully until he finally spoke to her.

"Told you to wait," he whispered, finally opening his eyes to stare down Tonks. It was unconvincing, what with his face half-bruised and covered with blood and scratches. The effect still terrified her, but for reasons he probably did not intend.

"I promised I'd be here." She began rolling out the gauze and uncapping the salve for his cuts to distract herself. Her hands continued to shake, and she realized she wouldn't be able to effectively bandage him. "Think you can make it upstairs?"

"Didn't read up on transformations," he whispered with a smile. "Don't move me yet."

"Sirius usually had you upstairs by now -"

Remus opened one eye to look at her, then closed it out of exhaustion. "He could carry me."

"I can help you walk -"

He shook his head, wincing at the movement. "If you knew how much my feet hurt after a transformation, you'd understand."

Tonks glanced down at his feet, trying to understand. They looked fine, despite being a little bloody with the rest of his body.

"Haunches," he explained shortly, moving to rest his head in her lap. The movement took her by surprise. "Muscles hurt."

"If I get you bandaged up, we can work on fixing that." She was surprised at the calmness in her voice as she dipped her hand into the salve, slowly rubbing it over the first rip across his chest. He winced at the sensation, giving another soft moan. She continued like this, silently apologizing to him each time she touched his skin. The pain potion had obviously worn off by the time she was done, but he remained in tight-lipped silence, the pain only evident in his posture.

"Can I bring you to bed now?" she asked, picking up the extra ends of the gauze and piling them up beside the roll. "I won't hurt you."

"You will." She felt as though someone had punched her in the ribs, but he continued, "There's no way for me to move without it. That's why I told you to wait until four."

"So you could bleed to death?"

"So I could move." He pulled himself out of her lap, wincing as he leaned on his arms. She reached out to help him, but Remus pulled away, finally holding himself up in a seated position. When he began to shake, threatening to fall over, Tonks reached out and steadied his chest.

"Vertigo," he mumbled, pressing his forehead into her shoulder. She ran a hand through his hair, careful to skip over the knots so as not to hurt his scalp.

Once the worst of the dizziness seemed to pass, she asked, "How about if we try now? There are lots of places along the way for you to sit down if you need."

Remus shook his head. "Too many people. Don't want anyone to have to see me."

The words stung. "Remus... No one is going to be bothered seeing you. They'll be bothered that you're in pain, but they'll be more bothered if they know you're lying on the concrete when you're in this much pain already."

"Reason why I don't let you down here." His words were slurring, and she could feel him fading fast. "Don't want you to worry."

"I always worry about you."

"Don't need to... worry about... a werewolf."

"Stay with me," she whispered, rubbing his back over the gauze. "If you fall asleep, I'm moving you upstairs in front of everyone."

She smiled as Remus mumbled, "I'm awake."

Tonks stood up slowly, arranging Remus so that he was on his back, arms at his side. His eyes were closed, and she didn't know if he would wake up soon. Sirius had always told her that Remus needed a good two or three days to sleep off the effects of the transformation, even if he only ever took a few hours.

She paused for a moment, considering levitating him up the stairs before deciding that he wouldn't be happy losing his dignity that way. "I'll be right back," she whispered to him, stroking his cheek before taking off up the stairs.

Snape and Dumbledore stood in the kitchen, and Tonks felt her blood run cold. There she stood between the two men, covered with blood and shaking uncontrollably. She imagined that she must have been a sight, but neither looked at all disturbed.

"I take it Remus is awake?" Dumbledore asked, lacking the familiar sparkle in his eye. His face was grave. When Tonks nodded, he glanced at Snape. "Severus, could you help her bring Remus up?"

"I'm afraid I have more important matters to attend to than helping the dog." At Dumbledore's look, Snape pursed his lips and glanced at Tonks. "As soon as it's up here, it's Nymphadora's problem and not mine."

"Good teamwork," Dumbledore said with a small smile. "How is he?"

Tonks shook her head slowly. "I just want to get him into bed," she answered softly. She didn't risk saying more in fear of embarrassing herself and Remus if she started crying. Just thinking about the way he looked, the torn flesh and puddles of blood, made her tear up.

At Dumbledore's nod, Tonks returned to the basement, Snape following a few steps behind. He became slower and slower as they approached Remus, and she could tell from his quick intake of breath that his fears were betraying him for once. Careful not to let him realize she had seen him drop his guard, he turned away and faced Remus, still fast asleep.

"Levitate him," Snape snapped, glancing around in the gloom as though looking for something that wasn't there.

"Please," she pleaded, kneeling down as she stared at him. She didn't expect sympathy in his eyes, even if she were able to see them clearly. Still, Snape kneeled down on Remus' other side as she began slowly pulling him up into a seated position. He didn't respond except for the way his breathing became rougher as they moved, and Snape took a hold of one of his shoulders without being prompted. Tonks glanced at him, noticing the way Snape trained his eyes on Remus' face instead of her. With little effort, they stood, slowly bringing Remus up with them. Their ascent up the stairs was a little more awkward as the two of them tried to pull the limp man up the narrow staircase. When they reached the light of the kitchen, Snape pulled Remus into a chair and glanced around. Dumbledore was absent, but he didn't seem confused by the fact.

"Let him be decent," he said to Tonks, scowling at her. She immediately became aware of Remus' nakedness, feeling a blush come across her cheeks. His robes would still be down there, she realized. Before she could turn to retrieve them, Snape had already pulled off his and covered Remus with it.

"While I feel nothing for the werewolf, I do have enough heart left to feel for a man left in such a state by a careless woman," he said smoothly, avoiding Tonks' look. "I expect it back without blood."

"Thank you." She hesitated, feeling nervous at how Snape would reject her when she asked him for help carrying Remus upstairs, but he had already rearranged the robe around Remus and started picking him up. At Tonks' continued hesitation, he got her a dark look.

"He's not my responsibility. If you're going to offer no assistance, I can just as easily leave him here."

She quickly moved forward, taking his other arm. The three of them made their way upstairs, Remus regaining consciousness for only a moment as he took a soft fall on a step and struggled to make it to the top of the staircase. His breathing was still heavy and shallow, and she pressed a hand against his chest, hoping she could find a way to help him.

Snape opened the door to Remus' bedroom, leading them inside before forcing Remus into the bed. Tonks shifted the blankets, covering him up before allowing herself to slouch and sigh. She glanced at Snape, who had an odd look on his face as he looked at Remus.

"Thank you," she whispered. He nodded. "I - I never would have guessed you'd help him... help us that much."

He nodded again, absently touching a bandage on Remus' shoulder. "These are going to need to be redone. As usual, your clumsiness shows through in your work."

Tonks remained silent as she inspected the bandages. Some of them were obviously done by shaking hands, and several had already started bleeding through. Once she had the courage worked up, she would redress them and make sure he was healing.

"I also have a Dreamless Sleep potion that I noticed was not in the cabinet. I shall bring it over, but it will have to wait until I finish with my own business first. He'll require a dose every four hours, which means you'll have to wake him. I also have a sleeping potion that should be more effective than the one downstairs, which has obviously reached its expiration date."

She furrowed her brow in confusion. "Why do you care so much?"

"We all lose things that matter to us." He fixed her with a sharp gaze, his demeanor quickly changing. "If you'll excuse me, I have more important things to do now." Without another word, he had left the room.

Tonks sat beside Remus on his bed, running her hand down his cheek. He was still covered with dried blood, and she knew she'd have to help him clean up sooner or later.

"Thanks," he whispered, and Tonks jumped at the sound of his voice.

"You awake?" she asked, suddenly unsure of what to do. She pulled her hand away from him, holding them in her lap. When Remus nodded, she stared down at the floor.

"Next time I ask you not to do something..."

"Don't do it, I know." She kept avoiding Remus' eyes, knowing that if she looked at him, she'd be searching for forgiveness that wouldn't be there. "I couldn't let you stay down there. You would have bled more, and I would have been left worrying about you all day. I can't go through that again."

"Next time," he continued, and she didn't look at him, "remember that I keep my clothes on the top step. I'm surprised you didn't trip."

Tonks felt her face flush as she glanced at him. "You're not mad?"

"Just that I'm wearing Severus' robe." Remus gave her a weak smile and attempted to sit up, his breath catching as he quickly dropped back to his original position. With a wince, he added, "And that I didn't expect it to be this bad. Could you bring me a few potions?"

Tonks turned to the bedside table, indicating the ones she brought up with her. "Tell me what you need."

"Prepared." Remus smiled, and she finally looked him in the face. His eyes were closed. "Sirius would be proud. Blood replenishing first, please. Once I'm past the dizziness, I can take care of it."

"I am," she whispered as she poured some of the potion out. "Sirius told me to look after you."

"And as he told me to look after you, I'm going to need to..." He took a sip of the potion, and some of the trembling in his hands stopped. "I'm going to have to protect you from dealing with something that isn't your problem."

"Looks like he told us to look after each other." Tonks raised her eyebrows as she handed him some more of the pain potion, which he took wordlessly. "You can't let me break my end of the deal."

"Sirius always worked in funny ways," Remus whispered into the cup. His face had a little more color to it, and Tonks could almost believe that he was fine.

"And I put faith into those funny ways."

"As do I."

Their eyes met for a long moment, and Tonks worked up the courage to pull down the blanket, working to unwrap his bandages and re-clean them before bandaging them again, taking care to do it correct this time.

"I miss Sirius."

Tonks glanced up at the sound of Remus' voice, seeing that his eyes had gotten misty. "Snape knew about you two, didn't he?" she asked. When Remus nodded, she ducked her head down again to continue working. "He said something about... about losing things we care about, and I couldn't figure out until then why he was being so nice."

"There's more to him that anyone ever cares to look at."

Despite her dislike of Snape, she nodded. "I'm... I'm just glad that I had someone to help me. I didn't think I could do that alone."

"It was an unusually rough transformation, and you'll never have to help with another."

Tonks felt her hands shaking in anger. "Do you really think that next month is going to be fine just because more time has passed? You don't get over things like death that quickly. I'm going to be there next month and the month after and for however long as I can be there."

When she didn't hear Remus protest, she glanced up to his face. His eyes were closed, face looking slightly calmer. In his sleep, two tears had managed to escape his eyes. Once Tonks finished re-wrapping the last bandage, she pushed herself down to lie beside Remus, draping an arm over his chest. He took a sharp breath at the new pressure, but he did not wake up.

"I'm sticking around," she whispered in his ear, falling asleep beside him.


End file.
